“I praise you for I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works!”
These were the words that I read during my planning period this morning and really, they could not have been better timed. I signed up for these fabulous emails by way of a post on Camp Patton (seriously, one of my favorite blogs – her kiddos are hilarious and they definitely get it from their mama). These little snippets in my inbox every morning have really been helping me make it through the day – especially this week which has been filled to the brim with conferences, trying to get ahead on lesson plans/work, and just not feeling so great in the pregnancy department (hello third trimester morning sickness – we meet at last!).
I know that I have said this before but I don’t think I can really say it enough – teaching is hard. It is by far one of the most satisfying things I have found in this life and I love the feeling I get when I see a child come alive in their learning abilities. However, this year. Oh, this year. This year has been my hardest year by far. I won’t delve into the gory details but I have read the statistics of how long a new teacher lasts in this profession and they aren’t pretty. Some say that 40-50% of new teachers will quite their jobs within the first five years of teaching, because they become so burned out and disheartened by their efforts in the classroom.
I am still maintaining my positive outlook aspirations for this semester, or at least trying to. I still love my school and my coworkers and my kiddos. But sometimes, when the going gets rougher than rough (like this week). I think to myself – what else would I do? What else CAN I do? These are the times when I doubt my abilities the most. Am I creative enough? Am I smart enough? Am I driven enough? What have I done wrong? My mind tells me: I must be the most broken and incompetent teacher out there. Give up.
Then come these words. The words at the top. God made me wonderfully. He made me in His image. I know this and I hear this often but really, HOW often do I let these words speak to my soul? He has given me this desire to teach for a reason. He has blessed me with the tools and opportunities that I need at this time in my life to grow and learn. He won’t give me more than I can handle – but I sure can overload myself and put more unnecessary worries into my life and job than needed. These challenges I am facing at work are teaching me and making me grow. The process isn’t necessarily fun but the outcomes will be great. I need to keep reminding myself of this Psalm on weeks and days where I start to feel so burned out. Because no matter all of the thoughts and doubts and hesitations that run through my mind – He is right there comforting me, consistently telling me that it’s ok. Really, He is telling me it’s more than ok.
Happy Wednesday (: