Cafe Du Martin

I guess technically that this post should be entitled “the woman in the mirror” but then my Michael Jackson lyric-inspired title wouldn’t sound nearly as awesome so we’ll keep it as is (and I’m just going to leave the link to the music video right here, you’re welcome;).

Lately, I have been feeling a little crisis-of-faith/identity-crisis-y. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way this past year or ever in my life for that matter. I think I can say that we have all felt lost at times and continue to ask God for guidance and direction in our lives when we feel at a loss. Especially in this world where we are so driven by labels and associating ourselves with certain groups, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle and really want to cling to a certain identity. The feelings and stress of all of the thoughts and emotions always sneak up on me and leave me mulling over all of them for longer than I would really like. It’s just that lately, I’m not sure what I want. I’m not entirely sure what God wants. Out of the two wills, I usually have a hint of knowledge towards at least one of them – God’s or mine. But right now? Neither, and it is frustrating, concerning, saddening, maddening, and irritating all at once.

For so long I have have followed these little standard benchmark points in life. In high school you are just trying to make it to graduation. In college, you are not only trying to make it to graduation but then you are either looking for a job, or applying for graduate programs. Then after college (at least for me) there was surviving that first year post graduation and in the big, real world. Then after that you are trying to meet certain timelines to achieve different opportunities within your career. And that is only the professional/education side of life. Personally speaking, you date someone for a while, then you get engaged. You wait and plan to get married. Then you’re married, you wait and plan and then you have kids. You’re pregnant, you wait and plan and then you go into labor. Then you’re a parent and you discern more children and start planning your children’s little standard benchmark timeline, etc. etc. Then last year I decided that I would at least stay home for a year. I would give being at home a chance and I would make the sacrifice. Well, we’re here. I made it and I’m not entirely sure what is next.

As much as I denied it, and didn’t want to give in to His plan, I knew I was supposed to stay home this year. It was by far the best choice for our family and honestly, my mental sanity as well. I needed the “break” and the distance from the classroom to figure out some things and devote this special time to my family. What am I supposed to do now? I have been praying this prayer for weeks now and I feel like nothing is resulting from my unending pleas (although it probably is and I’m just to human to realize it, yadda yadda). I always think that I am experiencing all of these feelings myself but it’s been made apparent that I’m not because I have read two different blog posts about similar subjects this week. (Which can be found here and here.)  It’s been reassuring to know that other women doubt themselves in motherhood or feel the same daily struggle as I do. Honestly, reading their words this week could not have been better timed and I’m so thankful for the blogging community and the women who are so openly sharing their hearts.

Yet, I’m still left here thinking. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? What am I SUPPOSED to be doing with my life? I know that I am supposed to be home in some capacity. I need to be here for my family and my girl. I can say that much has been such a huge blessing (whether or not I recognize it on the daily) and for right now this is where I need to be. But I want more. I want to pursue more and I’m just not sure what to pursue. Am I supposed to look for additional part-time work? Am I supposed to pursue some sort of creative endeavor? (This question usually stems off into the internal debate that would be starting a creative business of some sort – what would I do? what am I good at? everyone is already doing everything on Etsy right now and I would get lost in the shuffle so why even bother, etc.)  Am I supposed to continue to haphazardly blog whenever nap time allows? Or am I supposed to invest more time here and grow through my writing? Or am I supposed to shut it down all together and accept that I am exactly where I need to be and stop asking questions? But then why would God place these desires for more in my heart…

Are you exhausted reading through all of this yet? I am and not only am I writing about it (and rereading it after I’ve written) but it feels like I have been constantly bouncing all of those opposing thoughts off the walls of my brain to only come back to the same starting point… what is God’s will for my life right now?

I guess I will have to keep pondering upon that. I hope you’ll pray for me and I’m praying for you all too. Like I said before, this community of women, blogging, sharing their souls for the world… it’s not going unnoticed or unappreciated because my (wo)man in the mirror, who is struggling and searching right now, appreciates it more than you probably know.

Happy Tuesday, y’all.

As I was planning my child’s first birthday I vowed to myself to keeps things simple. I promised myself that I would not stress out over a birthday party that would only be remembered by her father and me. I swore I wouldn’t even consider creating a Pinterest board or homemade treats… well all of that was thrown out the window as the day approached and I realized just how much this celebration meant to us as parents, as well as grandparents and friends who were there for us this past year. The whole “it takes a village” thing is so unbelievably true. It takes a village to raise a child and keep her parents sane. Well, needless to say I did create a (secret;) Pinterest board and did in fact make some treats…from SCRATCH!

Something I really wasn’t intending to do was bake a cake from scratch. Honestly, homemade made cakes to me are from a little red box with a spoon on the logo. I feel like boxed cake mixes can be tough on their own and for special occasions I will throw together a homemade frosting. Well after looking at several recipes online I realized that baking a cake from scratch really wasn’t that intimidating and if all else failed… I had a vanilla bean cake mix hidden away in the pantry that could always be my stand in birthday centerpiece.

Just putting this out there, I got several compliments on these delicious little morsels and the only two that were left were the two connected to the name sign. I opted for cupcakes because tiny human = tiny bites and I’m really not one to waste an entire cake on a baby smashing it when more of that cake can be eaten by others. (: I hope you all make these cupcakes and eat your weight in them (it is Easter season after all, time to celebrate!). They are seriously that good.

Recipe: Mexican Vanilla Cupcakes

Recipe inspired by the Vanilla Cupcake Recipe from http://www.littlehouseliving.com/vanilla-cupcakes.html

Ingredients (makes about 30 cupcakes): 

• 4 c. cake flour (I used Swan’s Down Cake Flour)
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 4 tsp baking powder
• 1 c. softened butter
• 1.5 c. white sugar
• 4 eggs lightly beaten
• 2 c. whole milk
• 2 tsp Mexican Vanilla Extract (I honestly probably put in more like 3-4…)

Cream your butter and sugar together in stand mixer until well combined. I find that not completely melting my butter – but softening it helps. I used to think soften = melted. I actually prefer leaving it out to become room temperature and then creaming in a tbsp of butter at a time. Add in vanilla and milk until well combined. Then add in each egg one at a time until well combined. In a small, separate bowl sift together flour, kosher salt, and baking powder. After you have combined those three ingredients add flour mixture to your wet ingredients by the 1/2 c until you have created a thick cake batter with little to no lumps. I turned my stand mixer on high for about 30 seconds to “whip” the batter and make it a bit more airy.

Line muffin/cupcake tin with cupcake liners and fill each cup 3/4 of the way full. Bake at 350* for 20-25 minutes. (And if you’re not like me you will make sure your oven is actually on when you start baking…because otherwise you will but a batch in there and wonder why an hour later nothing has baked:).

Recipe: Buttercream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients: 

• 1 cup of slightly softened unsalted butter
• 1 8oz package of cream cheese (don’t skimp and get nonfat/neufchatel cheese)
• 2-3 tsp of Vanilla Extract (I used Mexican Vanilla again)
• 4-5 cups of powdered sugar or until you get the consistency you desire

In a stand mixer combine butter and cream cheese until well combined. I pulsed between a moderate speed and a whipping speed. Add vanilla until well combined and then start adding powdered sugar by the 1/2 c until you reach the consistency you are looking for in a frosting. I whipped for about 30 seconds at the end to have a lighter frosting. I let it sit for about 5-10 minutes and then I scooped it in a gallon sized ziplock bag. Zipped it up and cut off one of the corners. Then I piped it on in swirls on the cupcakes.

Happy eating!

I’m just going to come right out and say that this post will be filled to the brim with sappy, overly emotional oh-my-gosh-my-firstborn-is-one mom-ness. So if you’d rather skip right on past this, be my guest, I understand.

This past weekend we celebrated the little life that has made our world a brighter, louder, cuter place to live in. Family and friends came over and between the BBQ, beer, and abundance of babies it was the most perfect celebration. We really could not have asked for better weather so most of the time was spent outside enjoying M’s new sandbox and our beautiful backyard. The birthday girl was a real trooper through the whole celebration so I completely understood when she just couldn’t take any more attention when cupcake time came along. It’s a lot of pressure for a tiny human when a ton of people are staring at you, singing some crazy song and taking pictures of your little face!

Thinking back over this past year, it’s hard not to well up with emotion. I know it’s cliche, but I didn’t know just how much my heart would change when I became a mom. I think about all of the lessons I have learned and continue to learn and I am amazed at what such a small little girl has been able to teach me in twelve short months. Humbling doesn’t even begin to describe it.

The night she was born I didn’t know if I would be able to endure it. Labor was so hard and so trying and so everything that I had never experienced before. But we did it. By the grace of God we did it, and that beautiful night I held my sweet girl in my arms for the first time and it was incredible.

A week into having a newborn, I didn’t know if I would be able to handle this new life style. This tiny person needed me constantly. I was sleep deprived, exhausted, and in completely unfamiliar territory when it came to breastfeeding. But again, we did it. By the grace of God and an exorbitant amount of caffeine, we did it and I learned and she learned and her father put up with my teary-eyed post-partum meltdowns and we made it.

Then all of the sudden I had a three month old, who still refused to sleep longer than 4 hours at a time and once again, I just didn’t think I could handle this. My baby cried so much, needed to be held so much, and I began comparing myself so much. That’s when I realized that my relationship with her, my child, were things that couldn’t be compared. I was a mom for the first time and she was just a baby. I learned about a type confidence I didn’t know I had, and we did it. We continued to grow.

Six months came and I felt like we hit the biggest milestone. I had a solid food eating, sitting up by herself, crawling and mobile baby girl. Then month seven came and we found out that her lack of sleeping habits could have to do with ear infections. I had to learn how to give antibiotics and Tylenol to an infant and that was hard. Once again, I didn’t know if I could do it. But we learned and we made it and I honestly felt like more of a real parent after having to take the responsibility it takes to pick up your child’s prescription late at night, measuring the right dose, and giving them their medicine. (Also, giving an infant any medication via syringe can be equated to giving a cat medicine. My honest opinion.)

Now here we are, twelve months young. Walking, talking (mama, dada, mo = more, and no no no are her favorite phrases) and sleeping twelve hours a night. We did it. We kept our child alive for one whole year. While that may seem like an insignificant amount of time and later in life when I read back on this I might laugh. I’m just going to say that – we kept our child alive while sleep deprived, living in a tiny apartment, looking for a house, moving into said house, transitioning jobs, transitioning out of jobs, and so much more. Like I said, this girl has taught me more than I could have ever imagined (cliche again) and it is only by the grace of God that we have made it. But the most humbling thing about this journey of parenthood is that she’s not mine. She’s His and she’s here to do His will. How amazing is it that I get to watch over this little person as she grows and learns and becomes the person God is creating her to be? The most incredible thing in the world, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Happy birthday to my little monkey and congratulations to my husband. We made it and I absolutely loved getting to experience all of the above with you and can’t wait for what’s next. (:

This weekend was wedding shower madness. We are in that season of our lives where every spring/summer is drenched in nuptial bliss. I love weddings so this is by no means a bad thing. Just makes for a busy time. (:

On Friday I was able to catch up with one of my best friends from high school. She has been traveling all over the place for work/family so it was nice to finally be in the same state for more than a few hours. One of my favorite things about our friendship is that we have a regular date planned when it comes to hanging out which usually involves pedicures and or manicures and dinner/coffee. There is never any debate or stress on what to do and we always feel like there is sufficient time to catch up with each other. I want to say we have had this routine going for 5 years or so? It’s pretty much the best thing.

Saturday we ventured down to Houston for a couples shower for my sister who is getting married in Mexico this June! Compared to the 8 hour haul we usually drive (by we I obviously mean Eric;) down to NOLA, the 3.5 hours both ways (while definitely tiring) didn’t feel too bad. I haven’t had any crawfish yet this season and the friend who cooked did a phenomenal job. Honestly, they may have been some of the best crawfish I have ever eaten. I feel like I have to come out and say: I don’t peel my own crawfish. First of all, I’m married to a NOLA boy who does a great job peeling them and secondly, for three years straight I had live crawfish in my classroom for a science unit. Once you deal with a little critter ALIVE (this included feeding them, picking them up every day, and naming them) it makes it hard to deal with them dead. But my husband knows this, so he’s pretty much the best and just peels them for me now no questions asked. Miss M ate her fair share of the little red guys too. Any time Eric would put some on my plate I would see a little hand start to reach for more. She’s definitely her daddy’s girl! Before heading back to Dallas, we were able to stop by and visit with some friends who just had a little baby boy a few short weeks ago. It was really refreshing to see them and between our visit with them and our time spent at the shower we headed back to Dallas with smiles on our faces and happy hearts!

    Sunday we switched up our normal Mass routine and went to church in the morning where our child was completely thrown off her rocker and decided she wanted none. of. it. So Eric and I took turns walking her around during Mass and I think between the two of us, we probably got an hours worth of prayer in. In the afternoon I was able to go to a bridal shower for one of the girls from my old college ministry group. This girl was a freshman my senior year and it has been wonderful to see her and her fiance grow into such a lovely couple. The shower was also ice cream themed so there plenty of sweets to go around! Sunday evening we were able to take my dad out to dinner to a local BBQ place that we love. After we finished up dinner we walked around and found a park nearby where we let Miss M burn off some post-dinner energy. We were also really close to the train museum my dad works at on the weekends and were able to get a close up look of the old train they have restored. 

It was a busy weekend to say the least and this coming one doesn’t look like it’s slowing down either with a birthday party to finish planning + execute AND Easter!

Happy Monday!

Happy Friday everyone! We have been pretty lazy this morning (and by we I mean me + little, but we wish daddy was able to be bummin’ it with us!) and it has been fantastic. Every day this week has been filled to the brim with errands and activities so after breakfast this morning we skipped out on our usual bootcamp routine and played with a new (to us) Little People Zoo/Jungle and I was able to leisurely drink my coffee. We did eventually make it out to Trader Joe’s to get a few things, but back we came for naps and more lazing around. Mornings like these always recharge me and I never really realize how badly I need it. I hope you’re having an equally refreshing Friday, and if not that’s ok because Saturday is right around the corner. Here are a few quick takes from the week including but not limited to: blog links + my overly emotional self thinking about my child turning one year old next week (cue welling up of tears).

1. BLOG | I really enjoyed Elise’s blog this week about marriage, obedience, and vocations. As someone who has always struggled with identity and my plan vs. God’s plan this post really rang true for me. It reminded me of this time last year when I was really going back and forth on whether or not to stay home and what God wanted me to do vs. what I wanted to do. Really good stuff!

2. BABY | We are gearing up for party things next week. I need to get a few things but for the most part it’s going to be a lot of family and friends and babies hanging out and eating good food. My favorite kind of celebration. I am on the lookout for some simple yet entertaining things for the kiddos to do. Any and all recommendations on baby friendly activities/toys to have out during party time are greatly welcomed! I don’t want to go overboard but I also do want kiddos to be bored/cranky due to boredom. We went to a friend’s birthday last week and she had a bunch of balloons for the babes to play with which I thought was a really good idea.

3. BLOG | Something I have been trying to do as we have been unpacking and settling into our new home is to purge a lot of the unnecessary. We have made great progress throughout our cleaning endeavors but still have a LONG way to go. It’s keeping in theme with my word for the year and I think will help us to have a more organized + happy household in the future. Kelsey is an inspiration to me in the organization overhaul and has really been able to pare down and live a more simplistic life style. Teach me your ways!

4. BABY | I have been having SO many overly emotional moments this week (not pregnant). Just yesterday M was cruising between the coffee table and the couch and would walk over to a box of toys we have in the living room. She would pick one up and slowly toddle over to be and bring it to me. I would act so surprised and happy and give her a huge hug and she would break into this cheesy, toothy grin and then repeat the entire toy-to-mom-make-mom-happy transaction again. UGH. RIGHT IN THE HEART STRINGS, BABY GIRL. STAY LITTLE FOREVER.

5. BLOG | I met Amber at The Hundred Event back in August. Not only is she the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, but she is a registered dietician and twin mom (with another little one on the way!) and is ALWAYS posting about delicious, healthy, smart and most of all actually do-able recipes and ideas for families and kids. I really enjoyed her recent Toddler Snacks post because I feel like my child has recently started really snacking during the day and I was running out of good + healthy snacking ideas (and I’m sure she was tired of her 100th cheese stick I had given her for the day).

6. BLOG | Katrina has been a regular read/blog friend for quite sometime now and she has always had a way with words where I find myself nodding in agreement at my computer screen. She has really been knocking it out of the park lately with some posts about family + pregnancy. Here are two that I really enjoyed reading: click and click.

7. DAD | This past Wednesday was my Dad’s birthday so I thought I’d wrap up with post with a little shout to him. Happy birthday, Dad! Thanks for being a constant source of humor in my life + a great grandpa to M. We love you! (and below, quite possibly my favorite photos of me and my dad before my wedding ceremony – photos: Jessica Renee Photography)

Happy weekending!

Last week we celebrated the feast of St. Joseph, one of my absolute favorite Saints. There have been so many times that I have prayed novenas to St. Joseph and always, I am given reassurance and answers through his help in those prayers. He is also my husband’s patron saint so between all those times St. Joe has helped me out + to celebrate my husband I thought it was only appropriate to bake up a sweet treat in honor of the day.

In New Orleans St. Joseph altars are apparently huge thing (but not surprising since I feel like any excuse to celebrate down there is welcomed with open arms;). I was seeing friends post about them on the feast day and so I did a little research on my own and found out some pretty interesting information. They are a Sicilian tradition and are a grand presentation of food and thanksgiving to St. Joseph for answered prayers and devotion. Lemons are frequently found on these altars, and it is believed that a woman who steals a lemon from a St. Joseph altar will get a husband.

Well I am a sucker for traditions and anything hopelessly romantic. So inspired by the lovely lemons, I decided to make some (super easy!) lemon cupcakes. I am calling them ‘rustic’ because they are a little rough around the edges and I did a quick/not piped icing job on them.

Recipe: Rustic Lemon Cupcakes

Ingredients for cupcakes:

• 1/2 a box of Trader Joe’s Vanilla Cake + Baking Mix
• 1 large egg
• 1/4c + 2 tbsp cold milk (I used whole)
• juice of 1 whole lemon
• zest of 1 whole lemon rind

Ingredients for flour buttercream frosting: 

• 1c milk
• 1c granulated sugar
• 1c unsalted butter
• 1tsp vanilla extract
• 1tsp lemon juice
• 1tbsp lemon zest
• 4.5 tbsp all purpose flour

1) Instructions for cupcakes: 

• In a stand mixer combine egg + milk + lemon juice + lemon zest and beat until well combined. Slowly add in cake mix until smooth consistency. Pour into a greased (or lined) muffin tin until each cup is about 3/4 full and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. (I checked on them at 20 minutes and they needed a bit more time – just keep and eye on them.) Remove from oven and let completely cool before icing.

2) Instruction for flour buttercream frosting: 

• Combine flour, milk and sugar. Whisk over low heat until the ingredients come to a boil. (You will need to continuously whisk until it comes to a boil to avoid lumps, clumps and over heating your milk)
• Turn off heat and continue to whisk while warm for about 1-2 minutes.
• Transfer to a large mixing bowl/stand mixer and continue to beat until cooled to room temp.
• Add butter one tbsp at a time until eat tbsp is completely combined into your liquid, then add the vanilla.
• Add lemon juice and then fold in your lemon zest.
• Frost cooled cupcakes immediately + enjoy.

Happy eating!

This weekend kicked off a string of busy weekends for the Martin family! This weekend a housewarming, next weekend a wedding shower for my sister and then the weekend after that we have the first birthday (WHAT!?) of a pretty special little girl + Easter to celebrate! Busy + blessed over here, that’s for sure.

So like I said, we hosted a housewarming party at our new home for family and friends to come and see the new little space we have been settling into. I will say that setting a date on a calendar, when you know people are going to be looking around your house, is a great motivator to unpack the mountains of boxes that come along with a big move. I am pretty proud to say that we only had one box that we had to hideaway for the big event and we didn’t have to stay up too late unpacking the night before.

We were sipping on a Lemon Berry Rum Punch while we chatted with everyone and I would say it was a hit! A nice little fruity beverage to welcome in springtime and warmer weather. I think it would be a great sweet cocktail to drink by the pool this summer as well.

Recipe: Lemonberry Rum Punch

• 1 – 3qt bottle of Lemonade (I used Kirkland Signature – Costco has my heart forever)
• 1 – 64oz bottle of Cranberry Pomegranate Juice (I used Ocean Spray Cran-Pomegranate Juice)
• 1 – 1L bottle of club soda
• 1 – 12oz bag of frozen mixed berries
• 1-2 cups of white rum (or rather, to your taste)
• 1-2 shots of either berry liquor or orange liquor (I used some Guavaberry Liquor we got on our honeymoon)
• 2-3 cups of ice

Mix all of that fun stuff up in a large punch bowl or pitcher, serve and enjoy!

Everything went so well on Saturday. It was great to see friends we hadn’t seen in a while, catch up and just hang out in our new place. My mom was a lifesaver and showed up early to help ready a few things while I was able to get ready (not entirely sure our guests would have appreciated me still in my jammies upon their arrival;). It was such a great day and after the last guests left Eric and I were smiling from ear to ear. There really is nothing better than spending time with those people that just fill your heart up in all the right ways. After our little shindig we ventured out to the mall and did a little shopping. Got a few end-of-season deals on sweaters for both of us and I found a dress for Easter – so all around a winning day only to be topped off by coming home, putting a sleepy baby to bed, and watching the rest of Game of Thrones Season 4.

Sunday was our usual grind of planning for the week + practice and mass in the afternoon. We were able to go out to eat with Amanda and her boys after Mass and it was such a wonderful little family date (that hopefully we can have more of in the future;)!

Happy Monday! On to another week, living this good life.

On Monday we hosted a whole passle of kiddos at our new house for a play date and later that night I joined up with some girl friends to watch The Bachelor Finale (note: I was all the way #teambecca, but honestly after seeing him and Whitney and reading some stuff online they seem pretty legit)! Along with some veggies + hummus I was able to pop these yummy Spinwheels in the oven – not only did the mommies love them but some of the babies liked them too! So here you have it, a super simple, quick and easy recipe based off of your traditional tortilla-cream cheese spinach pinwheel.

Basil Parmesan Spinwheels

Ingredients: 

• 2 cans of crescent roll dough
• 1 8oz package of Greek Cream Cheese (a greek yogurt + cream cheese spread)
• 2-3 tbsp of chopped fresh basil
• 1 tbsp of chopped fresh garlic
• 1 cup fresh baby spinach
• 1/4 cup graded parmesan
• salt + pepper to taste

Instructions: 

1. Preheat oven to 375 F*
2. Roll out crescent roll dough on a lightly floured surface and pinch together the perforation for the crescent rolls making it one large sheet of dough (I know Pillsbury makes a perforation-less version of their dough so by all means use that and save a step!)
3. Soften the Greek Cream Cheese in the microwave until easily mixed with a spoon (about 30 seconds-1 minute)
4. Fold chopped basil, garlic, parmesan, and salt and pepper to Greek Cream Cheese until evenly distributed throughout the entire mixture.
5. Spread a thin layer of your cream cheese mixture on to your crescent roll dough using the back of a spoon or small spatula.
6. Lay baby spinach leaves in a layer on top of the cream cheese.
7. Roll up your crescent roll dough + cream cheese + spinach.
8. Cut your crescent roll log into 1/4 inch – 1/2 inch slices and lay flat on a baking sheet.
9. Bake for 11-13 minutes in the oven, let cool, and enjoy!

Happy eating!