FAMILY | mother’s day 2015


Happy Monday y’all + a happy belated mother’s day to those who were celebrating the holiday yesterday. I have always loved this special day and a few years ago I even wrote a post about my feelings on this special day as an unmarried, childless person (if you want to take a peek click here). I vaguely remember writing a post last year about my first mother’s day but I think it was lost somewhere in the shuffle between sleep deprivation, hormonal mood swings that rivaled that of a 13 year old girl and always having a newborn attached to my person.

This year’s celebration was absolutely wonderful. I felt pretty celebrated the whole weekend and the best part was that we didn’t really do anything extravagant. For the most part it was a relatively normal weekend. We even had mother’s day brunch at our house instead of out because my brother-in-law and his family were coming over and two little ones were easier to entertain among the masses of baby toys at our house. I was able to sneak away for a couple of hours and enjoy some time with one of my best friends while getting my nails done and enjoying an iced green tea and then my husband + sweet girl surprised me with my own kindle for mother’s day! (Now I won’t be keeping my husband awake at night while reading on the iPad.;) The best gift though really was just feeling appreciated in the day to day this weekend. I have been in a bit of a funk lately and the past two days really rejuvenated my soul in so many ways.


Yesterday I posted a photo on Instagram from the night Madeline was born. It was our first family picture and far by my favorite from the night. After so many hours of labor, so much pushing, so many scary new-mom-never-having-gone-through-labor moments I was so relieved to have my girl with us when I honestly didn’t think I was strong enough to get her here. I remember crying so hard with my husband after that final push because I did it! I actually did it! And I don’t think either one of us could really believe it. It reminded me of when I found out I was pregnant and I really couldn’t believe that there was a tiny little person starting to form right inside me and I had so many doubts that I would really be able to handle pregnancy and becoming a mom. Along with that picture I posted I found a quote that really encapsulated my unbelief of this whole motherhood gig, “The biggest surprise, which is also the best, is that I didn’t know I would love motherhood as much as I do.” – Deborah Norville

I need to have that quote printed in big bold letters on days that are tough and trying and down right exhausting.

Being completely and totally cliche here: I just never realized how life changing being a mom would be. I remember being so self conscious last year about my ever expanding belly and whether or not I was going to go back to work. When I decided to stay home (and eventually choose to work part time) I didn’t really know how to identify myself anymore. I wasn’t a teacher, I wasn’t working towards anything in that field, I was just a mom…but what did that mean? And I found out that along with the surprise that was being pregnant, and the surprise that was labor and delivery, it meant that I would need to surprise myself and challenge myself in ways that I never thought I would. It meant that I would lose a part of myself to gain a kind of love that only the grace of God could supply in my heart. It meant that I would sacrifice things that I worked hard for on my own so that another little person could thrive in our home. It meant surrendering all to His will and not my own. 10347082_2270901622236_7616151671525193603_n (1)

His will and not my own.

Words I have prayed over and over again, but not until now have I really realized that I am doing that thing.

Doing that thing, that motherhood thing, and really truly loving it.

Motherhood really has been the best surprise and I thank God for that blessing in my life, but really the best blessing of all was how much I love being a mom and caring for someone more than myself to give her the best life.

I hope you all had a lovely day filled with sloppy baby kisses, phone calls to your own mom, or just a celebration of life in general.

newborn pictures | kate love photography

Now that our little babe is 3.5 months old and things are slowly but surely approaching a routine-like horizon I am able to do things! Like actually fold our laundry! And clean things! And send out our birth announcements (in case anyone was unaware of the emergence of our child into the world)! And share her newborn pictures!

Once again, we used our fantastic photographer Kate. She’s really the best and so far we had done mini sessions with her. With two adults wanting to be photographed a mini session was always sufficient for what we needed but with a baby we really had no idea what to expect in terms of time and cooperation. Kate is fantastic and captured everything we wanted in our newborn pictures. She was so patient and I was so impressed with how many happy pictures she got during a time of day where Madeline is usually a huge fuss-pot. Enjoy!

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Everyone always says your life will never go back to “normal” after you have a baby. That your new “normal” will be filled will sleepless nights and pretty much being housebound with a tiny little human. While these sentiments are somewhat true I have always felt that a baby should enrich and add to your life – not take away from it. However, I’m not blind to the fact that some of our “normal” family activities would have to be changed as we transitioned in the first few weeks of this little one’s life and that life as we knew it before would be forever different. Not in a bad way, not always in the most perfect way, and definitely not “normal” by any means. .

My Sundays for the past 7 years have always been predictable – my “normal.” I have been singing at our church’s contemporary teen mass in the afternoon/evening. I have always said that once I no longer feel needed or that I am giving back to my parish in a constructive way that helps them worship I would stop singing but so far I have yet to feel that. Even after dating someone in the band, even after turning that dating relationship into an engagement and a marriage, and even with a baby.

This past Sunday was our first Sunday back in action after having Madeline and taking off for Easter. To say it was an experience is only the slightest of understatements. I can honestly say I don’t remember the homily, the readings, and the prayer intentions for the week. I remember the flow of the mass, the songs, the spit up, and the rushing around like a new mama chicken with her head cut off. About half-way through mass I heard the little cries coming from our stroller and my heart started to race. Here we go mom-mode. I lifted up the car seat cover to see my bright-eyed girl gearing up to wail if I did not feed her STAT (she has her mother’s hanger that’s for sure). So I whipped out my nursing cover and we started to do our thing when the screaming cries started. A few days prior we had started this fussy business. No hunger warnings, no little noises – but boom. eyes open. FEED ME MOM. Now normally, I would have no problem with my kid crying in church, I feel like children need to be a part of the mass just as much as the rest of us and would have stayed put had she not started crying and spitting up on my navy blue shirt at the most silent part of the mass (which happened to be during a sweet girl’s first communion…woops!). So out we went to the Narthex. I heard the band continue to play, I heard the priest say the Eucharistic prayer, and there I was… sitting outside of the church, in a chair by myself, with my baby, a mom… a position I always wanted to be in but a place I never thought I would actually be. I finished feeding her and we ventured back in for communion and the last two songs. It was then that I realized – this is my new normal. This is the juggle that is our life right now and I never felt left out or alone. I was right there with my church, as involved in the mass as a new mother can be. While being spit up on and feeding someone during a homily never happened in my life pre-baby… it all felt right. It felt “normal.”

I’m sure any seasoned veteran moms reading this are probably thinking that this is only the beginning. Oh boy, do I know that. This is just one of the first new “normals” we will be experiencing as we become members of the parenting club. I just hope that I can keep this focus and flexibility in this time and on the days that I can’t (today may be one of these days – the littlest person decided to throw an all night rager last night…) hopefully God will give me the grace to remember, if even just a little bit, how so very good this life is. Now excuse me while I go and try to accomplish some things in my new “normal” sleep deprived state.

Happy Tuesday!

embracing motherhood: the first two weeks

I honestly can’t believe that we have survived these first two weeks of parenthood! If I’m being completely honest there are times where I have felt time flying by and times (like the 3am feedings) where I feel like time is dragging on…and on…and on forever. While things aren’t always easy – I wouldn’t trade this time for anything. I am loving getting to know this little girl each and every day. I had no idea that I could be so overwhelmed with love and admiration for someone so incredibly tiny and new. I also had no idea that I could learn so much about someone and myself every day. New parenting mush aside I thought I would write down the top 5 things on my mind about these two weeks because formulating and entirely well written blog post will have to wait for another day when my brain is functioning on more sleep.

1. Speaking of sleep, I am amazed at how much I have been able to do on so little sleep. I have always been a lover of sleep and the more I can get the happier my disposition tends to be. Well that just won’t be the case these first couple of months because we have a hungry, growing girl on our hands! God really helps out new mamas in the sleep deprivation department because I honestly don’t know how I make it some days!

2. Waking up at 8am and then looking at the clock to see that it’s…noon???! I feel like this has been consistently happening lately. Mornings just don’t exist right now and it boggles my mind.

3. Thankful for my husband’s job/company that let him take two weeks off for paternity leave. I really, REALLY don’t know how I could have survived these first two weeks without him. Today was our first full day with him back at work and I think we BOTH missed him a lot – looking forward to him walking through the door this evening!

4. I miss my coworkers. I have caught myself thinking about work off and on at times. I really miss my friends and coworkers and this time with my students. I still catch myself looking at the clock and thinking about what time it is and what everyone must be doing. I miss the busy-ness that school brings but I am also starting to appreciate this new season of busy-ness too.

5. I’m a mom. I have a daughter. We are PARENTS. Still blows my mind!

First Easter as a family of three!

Happy Monday!