Month: April 2015

The temperatures are starting to rise as we welcome spring in the Dallas area and with warmer days I am less attracted to my standard hot black coffee in the morning. For the past few spring/summer seasons I have been brewing up a large batch of cold brew coffee to keep in our fridge and sip on when fatigue inevitably strikes. It’s nice to have the option on warm summer mornings or even in the afternoon during naptime when I usually hit a tired slump in my day and need the extra energy boost to make that time productive. I enjoy my iced coffee black or with a little half and half. I’m not into overly sweet or syrupy drinks unless they are from a coffee shop but I’m sure you could add a little vanilla simple syrup or honey to your beverage to sweeten it up a bit! I have added a little home made Kahlua (courtesy of an old teaching buddy) to my iced coffee during brunch and it was spot on.

Recipe: Classic Cold Brew Coffee

Ingredients/Tools

• 2 cups ground medium roast coffee (I use Costco’s breakfast blend – I steer away from flavored coffees because the flavor tends taste weird it steeps, that could just be my taste buds though!)
• 8 cups of water
• 2 large mixing bowls
• Chemex Coffee Maker + at least 2 filters (or any pour over/filtering system – this is just what we have)
• 1 cup measuring cup

Instructions

1. Put 1 cup of coffee grounds in each of your large mixing bowls. Pour 4 cups of water in each mixing bowl and stir water and grounds together, making sure that all of your grounds are completely soaked.
2. Cover bowls and let grounds steep for 6-8 hours.
3. After your coffee has steeped put your filter in the Chemex and pour coffee through the filter a cup at a time. I also you a small sieve on top of my filter to easily remove the bulk of the grounds while I am filtering the coffee. This is kind of overkill through and it’s really up to you and how many filters you want to use. I usually go through about 2-3 when I’m going through the entire process.
4. After I filter through all of the coffee I put it in a large spout container that goes in our fridge. I let it chill over night and then the next morning (and multiple mornings after) I enjoy! (:

See? Super simple! The waiting is the hardest part but I always make a large batch and it will keep in the fridge for about a month.

This is the container we use to store it in our fridge. Pretty sure I got it at Target last year for less than $5. Also, like our top shelf? Beer + coffee. Priorities, people!

I hope you are all having a wonderful well-caffeinated Monday! (:

I guess technically that this post should be entitled “the woman in the mirror” but then my Michael Jackson lyric-inspired title wouldn’t sound nearly as awesome so we’ll keep it as is (and I’m just going to leave the link to the music video right here, you’re welcome;).

Lately, I have been feeling a little crisis-of-faith/identity-crisis-y. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way this past year or ever in my life for that matter. I think I can say that we have all felt lost at times and continue to ask God for guidance and direction in our lives when we feel at a loss. Especially in this world where we are so driven by labels and associating ourselves with certain groups, it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle and really want to cling to a certain identity. The feelings and stress of all of the thoughts and emotions always sneak up on me and leave me mulling over all of them for longer than I would really like. It’s just that lately, I’m not sure what I want. I’m not entirely sure what God wants. Out of the two wills, I usually have a hint of knowledge towards at least one of them – God’s or mine. But right now? Neither, and it is frustrating, concerning, saddening, maddening, and irritating all at once.

For so long I have have followed these little standard benchmark points in life. In high school you are just trying to make it to graduation. In college, you are not only trying to make it to graduation but then you are either looking for a job, or applying for graduate programs. Then after college (at least for me) there was surviving that first year post graduation and in the big, real world. Then after that you are trying to meet certain timelines to achieve different opportunities within your career. And that is only the professional/education side of life. Personally speaking, you date someone for a while, then you get engaged. You wait and plan to get married. Then you’re married, you wait and plan and then you have kids. You’re pregnant, you wait and plan and then you go into labor. Then you’re a parent and you discern more children and start planning your children’s little standard benchmark timeline, etc. etc. Then last year I decided that I would at least stay home for a year. I would give being at home a chance and I would make the sacrifice. Well, we’re here. I made it and I’m not entirely sure what is next.

As much as I denied it, and didn’t want to give in to His plan, I knew I was supposed to stay home this year. It was by far the best choice for our family and honestly, my mental sanity as well. I needed the “break” and the distance from the classroom to figure out some things and devote this special time to my family. What am I supposed to do now? I have been praying this prayer for weeks now and I feel like nothing is resulting from my unending pleas (although it probably is and I’m just to human to realize it, yadda yadda). I always think that I am experiencing all of these feelings myself but it’s been made apparent that I’m not because I have read two different blog posts about similar subjects this week. (Which can be found here and here.)  It’s been reassuring to know that other women doubt themselves in motherhood or feel the same daily struggle as I do. Honestly, reading their words this week could not have been better timed and I’m so thankful for the blogging community and the women who are so openly sharing their hearts.

Yet, I’m still left here thinking. Who am I? What am I doing with my life? What am I SUPPOSED to be doing with my life? I know that I am supposed to be home in some capacity. I need to be here for my family and my girl. I can say that much has been such a huge blessing (whether or not I recognize it on the daily) and for right now this is where I need to be. But I want more. I want to pursue more and I’m just not sure what to pursue. Am I supposed to look for additional part-time work? Am I supposed to pursue some sort of creative endeavor? (This question usually stems off into the internal debate that would be starting a creative business of some sort – what would I do? what am I good at? everyone is already doing everything on Etsy right now and I would get lost in the shuffle so why even bother, etc.)  Am I supposed to continue to haphazardly blog whenever nap time allows? Or am I supposed to invest more time here and grow through my writing? Or am I supposed to shut it down all together and accept that I am exactly where I need to be and stop asking questions? But then why would God place these desires for more in my heart…

Are you exhausted reading through all of this yet? I am and not only am I writing about it (and rereading it after I’ve written) but it feels like I have been constantly bouncing all of those opposing thoughts off the walls of my brain to only come back to the same starting point… what is God’s will for my life right now?

I guess I will have to keep pondering upon that. I hope you’ll pray for me and I’m praying for you all too. Like I said before, this community of women, blogging, sharing their souls for the world… it’s not going unnoticed or unappreciated because my (wo)man in the mirror, who is struggling and searching right now, appreciates it more than you probably know.

Happy Tuesday, y’all.

As I was planning my child’s first birthday I vowed to myself to keeps things simple. I promised myself that I would not stress out over a birthday party that would only be remembered by her father and me. I swore I wouldn’t even consider creating a Pinterest board or homemade treats… well all of that was thrown out the window as the day approached and I realized just how much this celebration meant to us as parents, as well as grandparents and friends who were there for us this past year. The whole “it takes a village” thing is so unbelievably true. It takes a village to raise a child and keep her parents sane. Well, needless to say I did create a (secret;) Pinterest board and did in fact make some treats…from SCRATCH!

Something I really wasn’t intending to do was bake a cake from scratch. Honestly, homemade made cakes to me are from a little red box with a spoon on the logo. I feel like boxed cake mixes can be tough on their own and for special occasions I will throw together a homemade frosting. Well after looking at several recipes online I realized that baking a cake from scratch really wasn’t that intimidating and if all else failed… I had a vanilla bean cake mix hidden away in the pantry that could always be my stand in birthday centerpiece.

Just putting this out there, I got several compliments on these delicious little morsels and the only two that were left were the two connected to the name sign. I opted for cupcakes because tiny human = tiny bites and I’m really not one to waste an entire cake on a baby smashing it when more of that cake can be eaten by others. (: I hope you all make these cupcakes and eat your weight in them (it is Easter season after all, time to celebrate!). They are seriously that good.

Recipe: Mexican Vanilla Cupcakes

Recipe inspired by the Vanilla Cupcake Recipe from http://www.littlehouseliving.com/vanilla-cupcakes.html

Ingredients (makes about 30 cupcakes): 

• 4 c. cake flour (I used Swan’s Down Cake Flour)
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 4 tsp baking powder
• 1 c. softened butter
• 1.5 c. white sugar
• 4 eggs lightly beaten
• 2 c. whole milk
• 2 tsp Mexican Vanilla Extract (I honestly probably put in more like 3-4…)

Cream your butter and sugar together in stand mixer until well combined. I find that not completely melting my butter – but softening it helps. I used to think soften = melted. I actually prefer leaving it out to become room temperature and then creaming in a tbsp of butter at a time. Add in vanilla and milk until well combined. Then add in each egg one at a time until well combined. In a small, separate bowl sift together flour, kosher salt, and baking powder. After you have combined those three ingredients add flour mixture to your wet ingredients by the 1/2 c until you have created a thick cake batter with little to no lumps. I turned my stand mixer on high for about 30 seconds to “whip” the batter and make it a bit more airy.

Line muffin/cupcake tin with cupcake liners and fill each cup 3/4 of the way full. Bake at 350* for 20-25 minutes. (And if you’re not like me you will make sure your oven is actually on when you start baking…because otherwise you will but a batch in there and wonder why an hour later nothing has baked:).

Recipe: Buttercream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients: 

• 1 cup of slightly softened unsalted butter
• 1 8oz package of cream cheese (don’t skimp and get nonfat/neufchatel cheese)
• 2-3 tsp of Vanilla Extract (I used Mexican Vanilla again)
• 4-5 cups of powdered sugar or until you get the consistency you desire

In a stand mixer combine butter and cream cheese until well combined. I pulsed between a moderate speed and a whipping speed. Add vanilla until well combined and then start adding powdered sugar by the 1/2 c until you reach the consistency you are looking for in a frosting. I whipped for about 30 seconds at the end to have a lighter frosting. I let it sit for about 5-10 minutes and then I scooped it in a gallon sized ziplock bag. Zipped it up and cut off one of the corners. Then I piped it on in swirls on the cupcakes.

Happy eating!

I’m just going to come right out and say that this post will be filled to the brim with sappy, overly emotional oh-my-gosh-my-firstborn-is-one mom-ness. So if you’d rather skip right on past this, be my guest, I understand.

This past weekend we celebrated the little life that has made our world a brighter, louder, cuter place to live in. Family and friends came over and between the BBQ, beer, and abundance of babies it was the most perfect celebration. We really could not have asked for better weather so most of the time was spent outside enjoying M’s new sandbox and our beautiful backyard. The birthday girl was a real trooper through the whole celebration so I completely understood when she just couldn’t take any more attention when cupcake time came along. It’s a lot of pressure for a tiny human when a ton of people are staring at you, singing some crazy song and taking pictures of your little face!

Thinking back over this past year, it’s hard not to well up with emotion. I know it’s cliche, but I didn’t know just how much my heart would change when I became a mom. I think about all of the lessons I have learned and continue to learn and I am amazed at what such a small little girl has been able to teach me in twelve short months. Humbling doesn’t even begin to describe it.

The night she was born I didn’t know if I would be able to endure it. Labor was so hard and so trying and so everything that I had never experienced before. But we did it. By the grace of God we did it, and that beautiful night I held my sweet girl in my arms for the first time and it was incredible.

A week into having a newborn, I didn’t know if I would be able to handle this new life style. This tiny person needed me constantly. I was sleep deprived, exhausted, and in completely unfamiliar territory when it came to breastfeeding. But again, we did it. By the grace of God and an exorbitant amount of caffeine, we did it and I learned and she learned and her father put up with my teary-eyed post-partum meltdowns and we made it.

Then all of the sudden I had a three month old, who still refused to sleep longer than 4 hours at a time and once again, I just didn’t think I could handle this. My baby cried so much, needed to be held so much, and I began comparing myself so much. That’s when I realized that my relationship with her, my child, were things that couldn’t be compared. I was a mom for the first time and she was just a baby. I learned about a type confidence I didn’t know I had, and we did it. We continued to grow.

Six months came and I felt like we hit the biggest milestone. I had a solid food eating, sitting up by herself, crawling and mobile baby girl. Then month seven came and we found out that her lack of sleeping habits could have to do with ear infections. I had to learn how to give antibiotics and Tylenol to an infant and that was hard. Once again, I didn’t know if I could do it. But we learned and we made it and I honestly felt like more of a real parent after having to take the responsibility it takes to pick up your child’s prescription late at night, measuring the right dose, and giving them their medicine. (Also, giving an infant any medication via syringe can be equated to giving a cat medicine. My honest opinion.)

Now here we are, twelve months young. Walking, talking (mama, dada, mo = more, and no no no are her favorite phrases) and sleeping twelve hours a night. We did it. We kept our child alive for one whole year. While that may seem like an insignificant amount of time and later in life when I read back on this I might laugh. I’m just going to say that – we kept our child alive while sleep deprived, living in a tiny apartment, looking for a house, moving into said house, transitioning jobs, transitioning out of jobs, and so much more. Like I said, this girl has taught me more than I could have ever imagined (cliche again) and it is only by the grace of God that we have made it. But the most humbling thing about this journey of parenthood is that she’s not mine. She’s His and she’s here to do His will. How amazing is it that I get to watch over this little person as she grows and learns and becomes the person God is creating her to be? The most incredible thing in the world, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Happy birthday to my little monkey and congratulations to my husband. We made it and I absolutely loved getting to experience all of the above with you and can’t wait for what’s next. (: