A letter to myself on the first day of summer

Photo by Aleksandr Eremin on Unsplash

Dear Joanna,

Summer is here! You finally finished the most insane school year you never thought your children or yourself would or could experience. Your kids are home, they are healthy, they are safe. The start to this season feels like the biggest sigh of relief and rush of fresh air.

You have a whole host of plans and dreams for the months ahead.

Lazy days, busy days.

Pool days, beach days.

Camps, crafts, connection.

Any and all of it, you are planned and ready to have FUN. You are ready to enjoy your kids and make some memories. You are ready to move on from the shock of last summer.

And yet, there are some creeping feelings of anxiety. Remembering those days last summer and how suffocating it could feel being at home…all the time…with everyone…with no options…no place to go. The burn out, the guilt, the mental exhaustion. It’s still a part of you. Those were really hard days and they have left a mark.

Take time.

Recognize those feelings. 

Acknowledge them. 

See your past self.

But don’t live in those feelings because that was the reality of last summer. Don’t let your anxiety color days that have yet to happen. This summer will be different. It is ok to hold onto hope because you have been able to experience that this spring.

So, have FUN this summer. Enjoy life and recognize the goodness that you weren’t able to see last summer. Schedule little things just for you, find pockets of the day just for you, that is ok and the pandemic has shown you that you NEED those moments not that they are a treat. Your kids are so excited and the days ahead are going to be full and fun and good. There will also be long, boring, and hard days but that is ok. Recognizing the balance is healthy and you need to make time to do that.

I hope this summer is good for you. I hope it’s healing. I really hope that you find some of yourself again in the days ahead. I hope you get some time to think and dream and wonder. 

Girl, you’ve got this.